Unless we are deaf (in which case we could have read it, unless we were also blind, then some sort of braille would be in order), we have all heard the phrase 'Strike While the Iron is Hot'.
This is a very wise maxim indeed, though, obviously not meant to be taken in the literal sense-whilst a white hot iron can be a very handy weapon, Real Men have no business being in possession of one.
No-this concerns the carefully selected moment you will choose to attack an opponent, be he drunk, ill or even dead.
Now, the Mayan Controlled Media will have you think that attacking a dead body is somehow disrespectful or even pointless. It is obvious that they have never seen the grieving mothers and widows whose deceased loved ones I have battered like lumps of meat bow their heads to me in the street.
The Attack:
There are a host of opportunities that may fortuitously arise for you to attack your victim and some that you may set up yourself:
A strategically placed fiver on the floor can open up the perfect opportunity to strike a mans head repeatedly with your boot until his skull is a pulped mass of bloody shit and bone.
A brick wrapped in shiny wrapping paper and held under his delighted face only to be repeatedly smashed into his skull until it is is a pulped, bloody mass of shit and bone.
A frail pensioner pushed to the floor may send your enemy rushing to help them, perfectly positioning themselves for a series of hammer blows to rain down on their skull until it is a bloody, pulped, mass of bloody shit and bone.
As mentioned previously, there are also many times a victim will make themselves vulnerable to attack: For the very lazy amongst you, a target that jogs has already put their life at risk by jogging around a park for an hour-wasted energy means wasted lives.
Approaching a man who is halfway out of a car and kicking the door into him can be effective (and also mildly erotic).
And of course, Nobody expects to be assaulted during a two minute silence.
A few pointers:
Fighting a naked man is right out, in any circumstances, no way, no how.
Always get to know your enemy's movements and, if possible, medical history-weak hearts make light work for oneself and hospitals are prime locations for violent confrontations. Bursting into a theater and punching a man on the operating table whilst he is halfway through a procedure is a sure way to gain respect amongst your peers.
The variations of attack are limited only by your mind.
Get down your local primary school and try some out today.
